음양陰陽

141. Hallucination

One moonlit night, Mr. Gap and his wife went for a walk with a man named Eul. Eul, who had always had an unusual relationship with Gap's wife, harbored an ambition to satisfy his lust once again on this occasion. So, when they reached a large tree, Eul told Gap and his wife to stand beneath it while he climbed the tree. From atop the tree, more than 30 feet high, he looked down at Gap and his wife and was startled, exclaiming, “Hey, you two! What are you doing? Even if I'm up in the tree, how can you do such a thing in front of me? Hold on a bit and do it when you get home.”

To this, Gap replied, “No, my friend! What are we doing? What are you talking about, looking at us just standing here?” “Hey, I can clearly see you from up here, what's the point of lying? No, it's true, it's really true!” After exchanging these words, Eul climbed down from the tree and insisted that he had indeed seen such a scene from up there.

Mr. Gap, being a very straightforward person, took Eul's words at face value and said he would try it himself, climbing the tree. Eul seized this opportunity and suddenly engaged in actual sexual misconduct with Gap's wife. Gap, seeing the scene from up in the tree, shouted loudly, “Oh, it really does look that way! This tree is truly strange!”

142. Yang Guifei's Quick Wit

One day, the Emperor suddenly entered Yang Guifei's room to sleep, but Yang Guifei was already sleeping with An Lushan. She hastily hid An and sent him away, then greeted the Emperor. While sleeping with Yang Guifei, the Emperor's hand touched her X and found it wet.

The Emperor, suspicious and angry, asked, “What is the meaning of this?” The quick-witted concubine immediately replied with a charming smile, saying, “When the sky desires rain, the earth first becomes moist.” Hearing this, the Emperor was pleased, his anger quickly vanished, and he exclaimed, “Truly, my beloved Yang Guifei!” and even rewarded her.

Testimony: She longed for the Emperor's arrival, and her heart was moved first.

143. Conversation between a Blind and Mute Couple

In a certain place, a blind husband and a mute wife lived alone. One day, when they heard there was a fire nearby, the wife ran out to see and then came back. The blind husband asked, “Whose house caught fire?” The wife came to her husband and kissed him on the lips. So the husband said, “Oh, it’s Yeoseobang’s (a derogatory term for husband) house that caught fire!” And when he asked again, “Which Yeoseobang’s house?” the wife touched her husband’s left testicle.

The husband said, “Oh, it’s Yeo Jwarang’s (a government official title) house that caught fire!” Then he asked, “How much burned?” The wife touched her husband’s X. So he said, “Oh, everything burned down, and only the pillars are left.”

According to one account, instead of touching her husband’s left testicle, the wife pulled her husband’s hand to her groin, and he said, “The blanket in Yeoseobang’s house by the rice paddy path caught fire!”

*There are two more introductions to the Joseon Sangmal Jeonjip remaining. Among the 200 stories reflecting the lower-level learning of people in the past, the example that best describes the Korean identity is this 'Man Eul'. The giant tree is the homeland of life for thousands of years, and Gap is the totality of foreign peoples who have coveted that territory. Countless people must have overturned the Gap-Eul relationship until the Korean genes, which were Gap, lost their ancestral land and transformed into Eul. What future do Koreans, who have become oblivious to the stench even after eating feces, dream of now?