음양陰陽

129. Keeping a Promise
There was a peerless beauty in a certain place, renowned as a chaste widow. A philanderer living in the same village coveted the widow and tried every possible way to seduce her, but she was not easily conquered. Hearing that the widow was blind to money, he visited her one day and pleaded, “If you let me touch your breasts just once, I will give you one hundred won.” Since one hundred won for touching her breasts once was not such a harmful thing, the widow agreed to it.

So, the philanderer went every day with one hundred won and touched her breasts, and the widow, in turn, welcomed it every day, enjoying the taste of money. After some time, the man offered two hundred nyang to touch her navel once. The widow agreed to that too. After a while, he offered one thousand won to touch her lower gate (vagina) once. Blinded by money, she readily agreed to that as well. Then, one day, the man finally proposed to the woman that if she would let him touch her lower gate with his glans just once, he would give her all his property. The widow agreed to that too, swayed by the promise of all his property.

When the hot flesh touched her lower gate, the widow, who had been deprived of sex for a long time, could not help but be aroused, no matter how renowned a chaste woman she was. So, the woman finally yearned to have the entire piece of flesh inserted. However, the philanderer firmly refused, saying that was not part of the agreement. At this, the widow became increasingly unable to bear it and pleaded with him to listen to her, saying she would not even ask for compensation this time.

However, the man still didn't listen. The more he refused, the more the widow pleaded, saying she would return all the money she had received if he would just grant her request. But the philanderer stubbornly insisted, “That’s not what we agreed to. A promise must be kept,” and refused her request. When it came to that, the woman became even more anxious, her limbs shriveling, and finally she cried out, “I’ll give you not only your money but all my property too, just put it in once!” At this, the philanderer said, “If you go that far, then I will!” and only then did he listen. Thus, the philanderer not only achieved his desire but also took much of the widow’s property and eventually made the beautiful widow his concubine.

130. Even Buddha
There was a truly ignorant monk who knew nothing of women. He had heard that the taste of it was so good that one day he brought a woman to experience it for himself. Before tasting it himself, he wanted to offer it to Buddha first, so he laid the woman before Buddha, inserted a spoon into her nether regions, and chanted prayers. The woman found it so amusing that she giggled and giggled, trying to suppress her laughter. Seeing the spoon wobble because of her laughter, the enlightened monk was greatly impressed and thought, 'If even Buddha enjoys this so much, then it must indeed taste good!'

Soon after the chanting ended, the enlightened monk, intending to taste it himself, pulled out the spoon he had inserted, scooped up a spoonful of the fluid, and tasted it. He immediately gagged and spat, “Ugh, ptooey… They say this tastes good, ugh, ptooey, ptooey, ptooey… Even Buddha is a fool!”

131. Only the umbrella is mine
A person stayed at an inn and left an umbrella in the room when checking out. That night, remembering it, they rushed back to the room they had stayed in to retrieve the umbrella. The door was half-open, and peeking inside, they saw a newlywed couple staying there, currently embracing and kissing each other. The man asked his bride, who was in his arms, "Whose nose is this?" The bride replied, "It's yours, of course." "And these eyes?" "Those are yours too." "And these ears?" "These are also yours." "Then what about this...?" "That's also yours." In this manner, they went through each item, identifying its owner.

Mr. Mo, who was staring blankly at the figure from the doorway, was so terrified that he might lose his umbrella to the man if he hesitated, so he shouted loudly, "Hey! Even if everything belonging to the bride is your husband's, that umbrella is definitely mine!"